Parents’ Words of Wisdom

A Warm Family

The word “Family” means love or warmth. It is to be shared by persons who also share a common family name. In the West, wives adopt their husband’s family names and the couples addressed each other as “my home’s man” or “my family’s woman” respectively.

When you were young, we lived happily together. We played together, ate together and did everything together in a very lively atmosphere. After a day of hard work, no matter how tired we were, we felt completely relieved to see you coming to help us carrying things and ask us about our work. We were happy to see you sleep and eat well. This satisfaction is what people use to call a warm family.

Now that you have grown up and as brothers and sisters you must love each other. As you are biologically related you cannot disregard each other. As old saying states: “You can never cut water into pieces, and in the same way, you can never really estrange brothers and sisters”. You should not despise each other. Don’t be stingy, or get angry and vengeful. You must be helpful to each other and look after each other.

It is shameful for you as brothers and sisters to have any quarrels. Good siblings do not quarrel and should think of your parents’ feelings and concerns. Remember that when you were young, after you fought each other, you reconciled and you started to play together. You forgot your quarrel and forgave each other. You loved each other, and you cooperated again as it was. It is good to recall past memories and study them. If you think that you are grown up, forgive the bad incidents of the past. Beloved children, you can look for a new partner and even have a new child, but you cannot replace your brothers and sisters because their number is fixed. To disown your brothers and sisters, means you cut the flesh of your parents.

The following is the rendering of a Khmer poem into English:

A warm family environment requires that parents and children must live according to the dhamma. Don’t be influenced by your sense-desires but stick to blessings that yield beautiful life and endowed with virtuous mind.

Blessing 4

Living in a Suitable Environment

“If human stay in an area conductive to growth, as a result they will make positive progress very easy.”

What is an appropriate area and location is?
An appropriate area and location means a good environment that is not poisonous to either physical and or mental health.
Somewhere
* Positive support the occupant, by giving them a place to reside, work and build a future in which they can progress quickly and continue to develop their morality and integrity.
e.g. house, school, educational establishments, places where we work, community in the village, town or city, the roads, safety, health, utilities and general aspects of life.

How to live in a suitable environment
1. Choose a location that is appropriate and thriving
It should be easy to find good schools, appropriate employment and a good location for building a house.
2. Positive development of the location to its fullest potential
We must try with all of our effort to assist in the development of our choose area where we live.

Characteristics of an appropriate area

1. Shelter that is convenient and comfortable
- A place should be in a good geographical location
- A house should be somewhere free from flooding, threat of subsidence and built on land that is appropriate for housing.
- Ample utilities e.g. electricity and water supply, the schools must be suitable and in good conditions plus there needs to be adequate and good ventilations in both public buildings and our houses too.
- The area we live should be fairly quiet, with parks and sport fields for exercise and needs to be maintained for our safety and general health.
- Should be shops sited in the area of your residences and the transportation and communication links should be convenient and safe.

2. Food is available and health
- The area should produce and supply good quality food, having markets nearby an area where agriculture is in production so that food will be sufficient.
- Clean, safe drinking water. We need to know that this can be supplied and enough to met our needs.
- Our employment should provide enough of a salary to enable us provide adequately for everyone in our family.

3. Good people residing in the area
- The majority of people living in the vicinity need to have a good character, positive habits, morality, disciples and a positive outlook to the future of the community.

4. The area should have the Dhamma readily available.
The sensuality of a location refers to two characteristics in the context:
- Worldly sense: The area should have good educational systems, with good Principles and teachers. Governor should also be efficient, ethical and moral.
- Dhamma sense: The area should have monks or spiritual teachers and religious students who are qualified to instruct the citizens in morality and ethical conduct. The inhabitants of the area should practice generosity, observe precepts, listen to sermons, meditate and pray regularly.

Prioritizing these four factors
- Availability of Dhamma
- Availability of good people residing in the area
- Availability of food and provisions
- Availability of proper shelter both religious and worldly

Points for Consideration
We need to consider the fact that if there is little or no presence of Dhamma, or any chance to progress the mind with understanding, then the true value of that location must be put to serious questioning. Reflecting on this, perhaps many citizens in a country described like this, on waking up in the morning, their minds with automatically are full with thoughts of work and not their spiritual life.
They do not have the time to think or perform merit making activities such as donations, preserving precepts, or meditating and praying. Therefore, although they are living their life, their progression spiritually, as a person is as if they are already ‘dead’, especially from the lack moral virtue.

Methods of making a Cozy Home
1. Keep your home maintained and tidy
2. Choose food, and cook meals that are healthy. Try to be an ‘inventive’ cook, and prepare and serve meals that fusty and nutritious.
3. Encourage all family members to respect each other by being a good role model. Be hard working and show generosity to each other with a kind and compassionate heart.
4. Encourage others to go to the temple and make merit, observe precepts, listen to the monks, speak and train the mind in concentration through regular meditation, providing a plentiful supply of Dhamma Books, and create a special room or area in the house for prayer and meditation.

The Benefits of Staying in an Appropriate Environment
1. Receive happiness and joy.
2. Make both worldly and spiritual progress.
3. Perform great merit.
4. Have wealth and know what one should believe.
5. Monks and teachings will be readily available.
6. Will meet with interesting and spiritually developed people.
7. Will see and know things clearly.
8. Will study the Dhamma, Precepts and Meditation to an advanced level.
9. Excellent speech and intellectual skill.
10. Have a good memory and ability to recollect thing easily.
11. Have a good examples and role-models encouraging positive self development for the better.
12. Will have Right View and Understanding.
13. Will know the way to achieve the ultimate life goal, which is the Path to Nibbana.